Never Say Never
by klcm
Summary: Even being engaged Morgan finally shows Garcia what she means to him but she doesn't want to take it further, so makes him move on, only for the biggest of impacts to happen. How will both of them react then?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds... boohoo!

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Life's never perfect.

Life's a continual process.

We wake up in the morning, we breathe in the new day, we get ready, we eat, we go to work, we leave work, we eat, we go to bed taking the last breath of the day.

Life is always the same.

Life becomes predictable. No longer a challenge. It becomes a known thing.

Penelope Garcia found life predictable until one night changed it all. The night she broke up with her partner of 3 years, and then hooked up with her engaged best friend. The guilt that consumed her after that night was too large and she couldn't steal him from another women.

He'd found her broken and despondent and in an urge to wake her from her mild depression he took her to hers and got them both drunk.

That night Penelope gave out too many truths, too many hidden fears and that night Penelope never had felt more whole and loved in her entire life than when Derek had made love to her and proclaimed the love right back. Telling her in return about all the years of pent up feelings he had for her and how he nearly died when she was shot. How if she died, he'd die and that was that.

But with the last residuals of sex dispersing into the air and her mind sobering up she realised what she'd done, she'd allowed a man to cheat. So she stood up and began to dress, not realising he was waking up.

'Baby Girl.' He said sleepily and sat up a little. 'What are you doing?'

'We've done something terrible.'

'No we haven't.' He told her and he sat up completely. 'I now know what I want in life. I want you.'

'Derek, don't want me. Forget tonight ever happened.'

'Why? Is this because of Clare?' He asked her, she knew what Clare meant to him and it seemed she meant more than his fiancée did. 'I can end it.'

'No!' Penelope said and began to feel dirty. 'Do not break up with her.' She looked out of the window and felt her heart beat in her throat. 'She can give you what I can't.' She hadn't realised that Derek was up and coming up behind her until his arms were wrapped around her. 'Derek, don't.'

'Come on Baby Girl; tell me what Clare can give me that you can't.'

Penelope's breathing hitched. 'A family.' She said and the tears began to run torrents down her face; Derek spun her around in his arms.

'What do you mean?' He asked shocked.

'Derek, Kevin dumped me because he wanted to have a family with me, the chances of that happening biologically are slim to none. Kevin wants biological children so he dumped me because I can't give him that.'

'I don't care if our kids aren't biological Baby.'

'No but I do!' Penelope said and pushed him away. 'I want a child that's half mine and half the man I love but that's not going to happen. I can't have that baby with you!' She said her tone loud and depressed. 'I can't have that baby with anyone.'

'So you're just going to give up?'

'I don't want a family any other way, I don't want to get married, I don't want to adopt, I just want to live.'

'So that's it? We don't go further than tonight?' Penelope looked down. 'Fine, this doesn't leave your apartment, until you're ready to face up and love me how you know you want to!'

'I won't, you're marrying Clare and that's it. There's nothing that holds us to one another, I'm not going to get pregnant, I'm not going to have that future so I'm not going to strive for it.'

Derek pulled his clothes on. 'I'm never going to forget this happened and if you're too late I'm never going to forgive you for this. I love you P just remember that.' He kissed her forehead and left.

That night still tortured her, it'd been 4 months ago and now she was in the lobby of the church that Derek was going to marry Clare in and she felt sick to her stomach. She was too late.

As the doors began to open, her stomach clenched and she felt like her insides were burning alive, then just like a light, the world around her began to switch off and the last thing she remembered was her body slumping to ground as agony took over her.

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_**A.N:**_ So kind of a prologue but lemme know what you think!!


	2. Pushing You Back To Normal

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds... boohoo!

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The Sunday after that night Penelope loved; she was alone and could dwell and wallow. She'd told Derek the biggest heartache of her life, she told him point blank liked she'd told Kevin but he'd accepted it and still wanted her, Kevin had broke it off and left.

She'd lived with the burden since she was 15, 20 years later no one knew in Quantico but her but in a day she'd told the two men she loved most. Now she'd had the man she truly loved and she'd just pushed him away, and she would keep doing it until he was married and then and only then would she look at what new job offers were building up like equity against her name.

Work, come Monday was proving to be hellish already. Traffic was a nightmare and parking was horrible, when she finally sat in her chair, she breathed out, she was still sore from Derek's feat over her. It was a reminder of what he'd given her, how he'd made her feel, how he loved her. That day was day one of her torture but in true Penelope Garcia fashion she just grinned and bared it.

As the weeks slunk past, her and Derek's relationship was anything but normal. The time she stood in bullpen at Reid's desk she'd flashed Derek a look and when he looked up at her she smiled only for I'm to turn and look away with a distasteful look. That was the beginning of it, they didn't speak like they used, or act the same for the first three weeks but come the fourth week and Derek began to get playful and like his old self to her.

When in clubs or at bars, he'd take her dancing and overly flirt with her. She'd e his Baby Girl again but Penelope remained hesitant to it all. To say she didn't want to was a lie but his fiancée was always around and she'd never liked Penelope. After the seventh round of death glares Penelope dismissed herself to go to the loo. The next thing she knew Derek pushed her into a cubicle and was kissing her senselessly.

For Derek, the torture had begun with Kevin, his door for getting Penelope was open and he was going for it. But she'd shot him down and told him to move on while she remained how she was. To say he wasn't hurt was an understatement but he loved Penelope enough to listen and so the wedding drew closer and closer.

'Derek!' Penelope said pushing him into the door of the cubicle. 'What the hell are you doing?!'  
'Claiming what's mine!' He growled and kissed her again.

'Derek.' Came a third voice, they froze, it was Claire. 'Come on out, you're busted.'

Derek and Penelope left the small space and confronted Claire. 'This wasn't Derek's fault Claire.' Penelope defended. 'I'm sorry, it won't happen again.'

'How do I know that?' Claire asked hurt. 'Has it happened before?'

'No.' Penelope said.

'You've been quiet baby, anything happened before this?'

'No it hasn't.' Derek told her and she nodded slightly.

'Let's go home.' Claire said and left to go for the door; she stopped and turned to Penelope.

'Bridesmaid's fitting is still next week, if you Can control yourself come, if you go for him again then I won't be so calm.' Claire said and left entirely, Derek followed like a kicked puppy.

Penelope ran a hand over her head; again she cursed herself for loving him so much. The only reason she was a bridesmaid was because Derek was having his say as much as Claire was in the wedding.  
After that night, Penelope and Derek's just resumed normalcy, like they were still holding onto the true feelings because in all honesty they were holding back. So life continued its normal predictable route, each minute ticked by, each breath was taken and both of them lived separately.

So come the week of the wedding Penelope was all out of sorts, she was going to stand and watch the man she loved get married and the vvery thought made her dizzy and sick. With the hen night in process, Claire didn't speak to her, she just sat there civilised and enjoyed the night's entertainment. Penelope had gone to the bar when Emily had joined her.

'What's up with you?'

'Excuse me?'

'I know we don't all like Claire but you two seem to be sworn enemies.'

'It doesn't matter.'

'Yes it does.' Emily told her and turned to face her more. 'Outside now, we're talking this out.' Emiyl said and drug her outside and then stilled. 'Right, so what's happening with you?'

'Its nothing.'

'Bullshit Pen, what's really going on?'

'I slept with Derek.' Emily's mouth dropped at that, her eyes bulged. 'He loves me, and he told me he loves me more than he loves Claire and boy does that sound completely delusional.'

'Right... so why aren't you marrying Morgan?'

'Because I don't want that type of life, I don't want a family.'

'You don't?'

Penelope ran a hand over her face. 'I can't give him that type of life, I can't have children and as much as I want them I don't want the stress of adopting or any of that.'

'You want your own child?' Emily sympathized. 'So let me get this right, you and Morgan finally realised that you are in love with one another and just as all your dreams come true, you push it away?'

'I can't give him teh world Emily, I could've tried but I can't.'

'So what's with you and Claire?'

'She caught me and Derek in the toilets of a bar.' Emily's eyes widened again. 'I know, I wasn't going to let it happened but he was telling me he wanted it and we didn't get further than the kissing anad then Claire turned up.'

'She caught you out?'

'She did.' Penelope confessed. 'I feel terrible and I'm going to live with this decision, its for the best.'

'Okay, well if you need me then I'm here for you.' Emily said and hugged her tightly. 'So why drinking tonight?'

'I don't feel great and I'm sure it's not going to get any better tomorrow.'

'You're one in a million you know that right?'

'So I'm told every now and then.'

'Well you are. And you're staying at mine tonight.' Emily said and pulled her back out onto the dance floor. Later that night, Emily made her fess up to everything and not hold anything back and all Emily was doing was getting the ammunition if she needed to use it.

Now Claire was standing out of the way in the Church, and with the bridesmaids lied up ready to enter the main part of the church, they'd all watched Penelope's face pale and she feigned it off, Emily just assumed it was the fact that Derek was marrying someone else. As the music started and the doors opened they heard almost a scream of pain as Penelope fell to the ground. They then watched as her body tensed and went rigid before releasing into a convulsion. Claire just stood petrified, while JJ and Emily both got on the floor and Hotch and Derek ran up the aisle to see what had happened.

The sight in front of them terrifying them more and more. Derek was watching Penelope almost seizure on the floor before she stilled and remained unconscious. His eyes watered as he watched the still form on the floor and then he dropped down and cradled her as someone ran for help.

Claire watched him cradle Penelope without moving her much like he was cradling onto life itself.


	3. Choosing

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds... boohoo!

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Something snapped in Claire, her fiancé was hugging Penelope too protectively, crying too much, his attention was not on the wedding procession that had stopped. Today was her wedding day and now Penelope was in the spotlight, not her as she stood adorned in white, beauty exuding her. Her mind flashed to the night she caught Penelope and Derek in the toilets and then her mind wandered.

'Penelope get up.' She said and plastered a fake smile on her face. 'Penelope! Get the fuck up off the floor!'

Derek's head shot up. 'Claire, what the hell?'

'This is her plan, get this far then steal you from me.' Claire said angrily. 'Well no, so Penelope stop this attention seeking scheme and get up now!'

'Claire, she isn't going to be getting up.' Derek growled panicking.

'This cannot be happening, she cannot do this now!'

'I don't think she had a choice.' Claire's father said from her side. 'She's obviously very ill.'

'Yeah, she has been for ages, always been plotting to get Derek.'

'Get her out of my sights.' Derek spat disgustedly. 'If you're going to act that like when she's like this then I don't think I can marry you.'

'Derek... come on!' Claire tried to apologised.

'No! This is a whole different side to you and I don't like it. So until I know what's wrong with Penelope I'm not getting married, or leaving the hospital.'

'No! You can't, she'd want you to get married.'

'Well I can't get married and I won't.' Derek said and looked panicking at Hotch. 'Where's the ambulance?'

'It's on route, how's her breathing?' He watched Derek shakily try as Reid, Rossi, Fran and Derek's sisters made it up to the door. He then dropped down opposite Derek. 'Lie her down Derek.' Derek responded slowly and reluctantly, he then just felt for a pulse and found the weak, strung out pulse in her neck, he then checked her forehead for a fever or any other normal signs.

After too much time, Derek got up and paced, he was then drawn into a room with Claire and the confrontation hit. She was dressed down now, her expression sullen, her breathing racy.

'I must have been the biggest mug going.'

'Excuse me?' Derek said standing still. 'You think this is about you? What we all just saw out there is not normal, that is not put on.'

'For Christ sakes Derek! The woman pines over you!' Claire said using her arms to show her frustration. 'Like you pine for her, why are you with me?'

'Because I love you.'

'Well you show me that love with marrying me right now.'

'I can't.'

'Then you don't love me.'

'Claire what do you want from me? My best friend is out there unconscious and we don't know what's wrong with her and you want me to marry you.'

'Yes. I want you to prove how much you love me.'

Derek hit the wall as his own frustration began to fizzle. 'You know what... I obviously don't love you enough; I can't marry you, not today.'

'Well then not ever.'

'Fine, you be like that.' Derek said taking a step closer. 'You've just shown how selfish you really are. How far your compassion goes. How alien you are to me.'

'Derek please...'

A knock cut her off before she could continue or Derek could stop her himself. 'Derek... ambulance is ready to go the hospital.' Hotch's voice came through the door.

'I'll talk to you when you're being more reasonable.' He said and swung the door open. 'I'm riding with her.' Well the last words he said as he left to follow Penelope and everyone got what they needed and followed the ambulance.

Penelope opened her eyes and the light that flooded her visual senses made her head pound so she shut them before trying to gain some concept of where she was. The last thing she remembered was yelling around her but she had no control over her body, she had no way to yell for help and then her body stopped whatever it had been doing and the darkness began to ebb in and soon she was unaware of nothing, she had no remembrance of what had actually happened.

But from the glare of the lights she knew she was in the hospital. Then the incessant bleep that drummed into her head made her push herself up, looking around for her glasses, she found them and placed them on. Just as she swung her legs off the side of the bed and yanked all the wires holding her down a nurse ran in.

'Miss Garcia, please I need you to lie down.'

'I'm leaving.'

'I can't let you do that.' She told Penelope and Penelope looked at her confused. 'I need you to lie down and I can let one of your friends in to tell you what we know and I'll call the doctor down.'

'What's wrong with me?'

'It's best to let someone you know tell you but I need you to lie down and get some rest.' She said and helped Penelope lay down while hooking her up to the monitor and IV drip again, noticing Penelope's agitation she left the oxygen nearby.

Penelope looked at the door as Derek walked in, he wasn't dressed like he normally was, he was dressed in tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt and Penelope's heart flustered at the sight, but it stilled as she realised what day had happened and who he would be with as husband and wife but then she saw the worry and the tiredness.

'How you feeling Baby Girl?' He asked her quietly as he sat down on the bed gently and took her hand in his.

'What are you doing here?' Penelope responded to his question, she was beyond confused. 'What happened?'

'Don't you remember?' He questioned as he saw her look tearful and guilty at something, she just shook her head and tried to piece it together. 'What do you remember?'

'Standing outside in the lobby.' She said with her voice going raspy on her. 'Then everything just kinder shut down and it hurt and then nothing.' She looked out of the window and then looked back at him. 'How long have I been here?'

Derek squeezed her hand. 'Two days.' He watched her hold her breath as the realisation dawned. 'You had a seizure and it put you into a coma.'

'A seizure?' She watched Derek close his eyes and the tears begin. 'I don't understand.'

'You're pregnant P.' He said and the tears fell down. '4 months gone.' He sucked in a breath and put a new persona down on himself. 'The baby's fine, perfectly healthy in fact.' He said with a positive smile. 'That fact you told me all those months ago came true.'

'No, I can't be.' She said dazed, she didn't know how she felt. 'You're lying to me.'

Derek took both her hands then as panic settled in and he knew she needed to know this. 'I'd never lie to you, not about this.'

'You would after everything, I mean why are you here and not on your honeymoon.'

'Because I'm not with Claire anymore and I wouldn't lie to you because that baby's half yours and half mine.' Derek told her with a smile but there was more than he was letting on. 'You beat the odds Pen, we beat it.'

'How do you know it's yours and not Kevin's?' She asked him and she saw his eyes flash with more concern. 'What aren't you telling me?'

'The doctor did a DNA test to make sure; he doesn't want you to be under any stress.' He told her and squeezed her hands again; she'd learnt that he'd done that whenever he was building up to something. 'There's concerns for your health though.'

'Mine? Why mine?'

'The reason to collapsing and having the seizure was because you have Eclampsia, the doctor wants to run the details over with you but he thinks aborting the baby is the wisest idea.'

'But...'

'I know, I told him that you wouldn't want to abort it and that I'd side with you but I can't lose you in the process.' He then leant in. 'There's been a lot of debate but honestly Pen, this is dangerous.'

'I can't just lose this opportunity.'

'I get that, really I do but if it comes down to you or that baby, I'm choosing you.'


	4. The Dawn Of Realisations

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds... =( Big tears!! )=

_**A.N:**_ _So a little more for you tonight!! =) _

_Skipping to feel in the gaps!!!_

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Derek knew from the looks that Emily was giving off that she knew about him and Penelope and he knew his behaviour was doing nothing to hide the secret. The one that was suppose to stay behind in Penelope's apartment.

They'd all changed out of their suits and dresses and the wedding was well behind in their minds, Penelope had been unconscious for at least 4 hours now and they had not been told at all what was wrong with her.

It seemed that Claire had come out of her hissy fit and was offering Derek moral support left, right and centre but Derek was holding back, distancing himself from her and they could all see he was now looking at her in a different light. One that both didn't like or one that he couldn't tolerate. She'd believed that Penelope had put this on, had claimed Penelope was lying in order to steal Derek when all along all Penelope had to do was say one little thing and he'd drop everything and run to her. It would've been like that even if he'd married Claire. Somehow Penelope would always be a priority to her.

But sitting in the hospital not knowing what was happening with Penelope, Derek saw it as an omen as a sign that he wasn't meant to marry Claire and he was satisfied that he hadn't become a married man.

As he took Hotch's place with the pacing, the doctor soon joined them and took Hotch from the group. For only two minutes though, as Hotch came back with the doctor closely following.

'Right, Mr Hotchner said I can talk to you.' They all stood up and circled him, their worry over powering him. 'I'm afraid at the moment it's not positive news I have to offer. Miss Garcia is in a coma brought on from the seizure.' There was a collective gasp. 'We won't know how long she'll be in this state so we can only monitor her.' He took a look at them all, trying to gauge how they were responding. 'We found that she is pregnant and alongside it she's developed eclampsia which brought on the seizure.'

'Wait.' Derek said shocked. 'She's pregnant?' He asked and the doctor nodded at him solemnly. 'She can't be.'

'Well she's 4 months along.'

'No, she was told she can't have children.'

'Well, for some they strike lucky. You might want to find out the father because for her health and the baby's it may be better if she terminates.'

'She won't go through with it.' Derek stated. 'Not if she's grown up to know she can't have children and here she is pregnant, that's not fair on her.'

'It's better for her health.'

'But surely you can monitor it, make sure she's not under any risks.'

'We can do that but the delivery could be fatal. Of course, we won't take action until she's awake and tells us what she wants, at the moment we can only make her comfortable and due to eclampsia being asymptomatic we can only treat the symptoms.' He rounded off and left them to discuss what needed to happen next.

'Someone needs to ring Lynch, tell him about the pregnancy.'

'It's not Lynch's.' Derek told them, wringing his hands together. 'It won't be his.'

'Derek they were together at the time.' JJ pointed out, and the Claire stood up and left them entirely, Derek running behind her and everyone looking around confused.

'They slept together about 4 months ago.' Emily told them, this secret couldn't be kept secret with Penelope in the state she was. 'She pushed Derek to marry Claire because she couldn't give him the family she wanted him to have, she wanted him to be happy.'

'He doesn't care either way right?'

'Nope, but she doesn't want to settle down, she doesn't want the stress of adopting so she gave up. Kevin dumped her because he wants children that are biologically his; Penelope couldn't give him that so he finished it. That night Derek and her got drunk and acted on everything.'

Derek grabbed Claire's arm as they made it out into the warm sunshine and she quickly spun round, yanking it out of his grasp. 'You leave me alone!'

'Stop!'

'No Derek, you lied to me! You told me you never slept together!'

'Okay we did but she dropped me! The moment it was over she went down the guilty route and we left that moment behind us.'

'Well obviously not or did I imagine what happened in the bar that night?'

'Look okay, I've been in love with Penelope well before I met you, I can't help that! The night Kevin dumped her, we just hit the bottle together and the next thing she's pouring her heart out to me, and things just progressed. She told me she didn't want me because you could make me happier than she could.'

'Me? I don't think so.'

'Did you not hear what I said upstairs? She told me she couldn't have kids, the one woman that's got the biggest heart out of anyone I know and she can't even mother a child. She wanted me to have my own family and she couldn't give me that but she gave me you.'

'If you love her, why didn't you just try? We wouldn't be here now.'

'Because I love her enough to listen to her and her wishes.'

'I can't be here anymore Derek.'

Derek ran a hand over his head. 'Who's Lewis?'

'Pardon?' She asked, her breath capturing on the word. 'Lewis?'

'You say his name sometimes in your sleep.' Derek stepped in and put his hands on her arms supportively. 'Who is he?'

'Probably my equivalent of your Penelope.'

'What?'

'He left for a job, he was my best friend and we speak regularly and I loved him.'

'You still love him.' Derek watched her eyes widen. 'Look, I don't think we've both been all in on this relationship. We've obviously not been truthful with one another and look where it's getting us. We never fought before and now we've fought loads.'

'What if she is really pregnant with your baby and not Kevin's?'

'It is mine, she hadn't slept with Kevin in a while, and I don't know.'

'Are we really breaking up?'

'I guess so.'

'I just don't to become estranged from you.' Claire confessed, and slid the ring off her finger and gave it to him and she smiled. 'That's the biggest relief I've had in a while.' Derek laughed, smiled and nodded. 'I guess you agree.'

'I guess so.' He then looked at her teary eyed, his smile faltered. 'I can't lose her.'

'Hey, you won't.' Claire said and wrapped Derek up in his arms. 'I want you to be happy and I can see that I wasn't making you happy. It was never me and I don't think you ever made me entirely happy.'

'No I reckon Lewis would though.'

'I doubt it.'

'Don't doubt him, give him a call, ask him to visit. You and him and me and Pen can go out. We might not have worked but you've been a support to me and I need you to know that whatever I've always got your back.'

'Penelope's lucky to have you.'

'No, I'm lucky to have her.' He said and then the realisation settled in and he felt his knee's get weak. 'What if this is baby and she has to get rid of it?'

'Let's take a day at a time okay? Don't jump into conclusions; all you can do is be there for her.' Claire then put both hands to the back of her head. 'I've been so horrible to her, especially lately. She kept complaining she didn't feel well and she didn't drink on my hen night and I was plain right nasty. I need to make it right.'

'She didn't feel well?'

'Tired, kept getting stomach pains but everyone one of us asked she just batted the worries away, smiled and got on with what she was doing. Her and Emily have kind of stuck together more.' Claire stepped back and looked at him. 'I'm a horrible person.'

'Who's gonna have the chance to make it right.' He said and dragged her back inside the hospital.


	5. Preparing For The Road Ahead

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds... boohoo!

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To say she was tired from everything around her was an understatement. People talking at her drained her, thinking over everything sucked her energy, mulling over the probable pregnant took it out of her and lying in a bed was frustrating her more. Derek hadn't left her side, not that she'd know, she slept more than she watched or thought. She hadn't seen the doctor yet but she wanted to put that off as long as she could but now she knew she had to face up to it.

'There are procedures upon procedures we can do but at the end of the day, delivery of this baby could prove fatal.' He told her point blank, he knew not to hold back, now was not the time to beat around the bush. 'Hospitalization will most probably occur as your blood pressure becomes uncontrollable without medical intervention.' Penelope blinked at him; Derek sat wordlessly at her side. 'As for the eclamptic seizures, there's no stopping them but there's medication that can significantly reduce the risk of one occurring. If one does happen then it shouldn't be as severe as the first one. I need to ask do you want to keep the baby?'

'Yes.' Penelope said and Derek didn't know whether to be happy or sad about the facts that had just been given to them.

'Pen, really have you thought about this?'

'I want this baby.'

'This is why we held off; it's the mother's decision at the end of the day as much as it's the fathers, the biggest psychological effect will be on you.' He said ending the sentence at Penelope. 'Now I'm going to have to be brutally honest here. Throughout the pregnancy there are a number of risk factors that can occur. Escalated nausea, sickness, headaches, liver failure, fatigue, plummeting weight loss, pulmonary edema, abdominal pains and there's the elevated risk of HELLP syndrome which is more than likely going to appear in the later stages of the pregnancy, and there's the significant risk of pre-eclampsia.' He saw their worry mask every inch of their faces. 'Regular checkups will be arranged and if anything that you're not comfortable with occurs then we need you back in here as soon as.' He told them and offered a reassuring smile. 'I respect your choice for keeping the child and I plan to do everything in my power to give you it. That means I'll be making it extra vigilant, anything I don't quite like the look of I'm admitting you, no questions asked. Understood?'

'Yes.' They both said together.

'Well I want you to get some more rest; I don't want to discharge you just yet until I know everything's running smoother than it is. I want your blood pressure down and I want no foetal distress.' He signed off the chart and then left the room.

'Penelope, we really need to talk about this.'

'I'm keeping it.'

'God damn it Penelope!' Derek said and stood up. 'You want to keep it, how about listening to me on this? It is my child too.'

'I'm sorry.' She said quietly, she'd been so wrapped up that she'd missed his reactions to it all. 'Come on then, tell me.'

'Do you not see it?'

'See what?'

'I'm scared.'

'Me too.'

'No.' He said turning back to the bed. 'I'm scared that by having this baby, I'll lose you, heck I could lose you both. I've just got you back, I can't lose you now.'

'You won't.'

'And you're so sure? He just gave you nearly every problem that can occur under the sun and you still want this baby.' He told her, his hands running over his face in agitation and staying on his head. 'The idea of the next 5 months is scaring the hell out of me Pen, I don't know what lies ahead but I'm not going to be able to watch you suffer.'

'Can you just trust my judgement on this please?'

'I do trust your judgement P. But what if something happens?'

'It won't.'

'Stop being so optimistic!' He saw her flinch at his tone. 'I'm sorry, my head's not on straight right now and well I want my future with you. The whole 9 yards, marriage, house, perfectly aligned picket fences, the whole kit caboodle.'

'Derek...'

'I said I would stick by your decision and so be it I will, but if anything happens to you then I can't forgive myself for it. For not stopping you.'

'Day to day?' She asked him. 'It's going to be a bumpy road but I need you by my side.'

'I'll be there and I hope you know that every little problem, twitch, pang, pain, I'm getting it checked out. I'm not losing my future wife or child.'

'Derek...'

'Penelope Morgan always sounded better than Claire Morgan.' Claire's voice spoke from the door. 'How you feeling today Penelope?'

'I've felt better.' Penelope said intimidated by the woman's spontaneous presence. 'I'm so sorry.'

'Don't be, I don't blame you at all. I guess congratulations are in order with a baby on the way. I wish it wasn't so risky, you deserve a family Penelope.'

'Thank you.'

'Well I just popped by to give you these and I wanted Derek to meet someone.' She said and placed the bunch of flowers on the table. 'I called him Derek.'

'And?'

'Well...' She stepped by the door and put her hand out and pulled a tall handsome blonde headed man in. 'Derek, Penelope, I'd like you to meet Lewis.' Penelope just stared, it was like looking at her and Derek in reverse, Claire was Derek's female reverse and Lewis was hers. 'I'm going to stick around, Penelope I want to work over our differences so I've joined the force that's behind your looking after party.' Penelope rolled her eyes but smiled. 'Hey, I want to see this baby Morgan as much as the next guy and I just want to be a better friend to you. I'm sorry for everything and I hope you accept my apology.'

'Count it as accepted a long time ago.'

'Thank you Penelope, right I want you to get some more rest. I know how to be dominant and I know how vigilant the guys can be so I want to hear that you've done nothing but rest and I'll be back in a couple of days.' She said and smiled at them both. 'I'll speak to you later.'

The pair just watched them leave before exchanging glances. 'Did that happen?'

'It did Baby Girl; we kind of helped each other when you were first brought in. We weren't right. I've been in love with you all this time; she's been in love with him all this time. We haven't been honest or fair on one another really.'

'I really wish I hadn't pushed you away, I've hated it and regretted it every day since.'

'Let's not talk about back then, let's talk about the here and now, and the future.' He said and approached her, taking his to his pocket and pulling a small piece of card. 'I want you to meet our baby, the half you, half me being.' He said, he would forever claim it as that, because it was exactly what Penelope wanted she had started it all those months ago. _'I want a child that's half mine and half the man I love but that's not going to happen. I can't have that baby with you!'_

He slid onto the bed and gathered her up in his arms, pulling her into his side just how they'd cuddled many a times before all of this began and just shared the moment with her. He'd been walking around with the scan photo in his pocket since she had been admitted but only now found the exact moment to share.

'That's our little miracle.' Penelope spoke quietly as her fingers traced the outline of the baby, the fears she had for the future were not there at the moment, she'd take each new problem as and when they happened and not before. 'Our baby.' She said as she let the silence settle in around them.


	6. Eclisping One Another

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds... boohoo!

* * *

It'd been 10 weeks since Penelope was hauled up in the hospital, there were no adverse changes or problems that had risen up to scare them. She was showing now, at nearly 7 months she had a nice little bump showing. Every morning she'd look at how big the bump was and how skinny the rest of her was getting, she was literally disappearing before their eyes.

Derek had gone for a run and Penelope had slept through, now the room had spun, waking her up and she launched herself into the bathroom. Morning sickness had claimed her, and still had when Derek had gotten home, he heard retching and ran towards it, he found Penelope on the floor.

'Get out Derek.' She said forcefully as another wave of nausea took her over. 'This isn't a sight for you see.' She gave the same argument every time and he always gave the same argument back.

'I don't give a damn.' He said grabbing a glass from the basin and feeling it up with water, before getting on the floor and pulling a towel off the rail as he went. 'In this together Baby Girl.'

'I need to get ready but when this is done passing over me.' She grumbled as she took a sip of the drink. 'Claire's going to be here in like 20 minutes and there's no way I'm leaving unless the toilet comes with me.'

'Well you stay here, and I'm sure Claire won't mind one bit.'

'Oh jeez, yeah that's just so much fun.' Derek laughed at her, it was the same routine, same conversation, someone was always coming around, their house was hardly ever empty. Not since they had set a date to be married by had Fran got Derek to help her buy cheap property and she was always on hand to help, Hotch and Rossi had skipped Strauss and gone to the director for help. Penelope could work from home so not to over exert herself and the others came round to make things normal and fun and plan the wedding of a lifetime.

When he saw her nausea had gone, he picked her up and frowned. 'You lose any more weight and you'll turn sideways and disappear on me.'

'Could make life fun I suppose.' She commented and he laughed as he covered her up on the sofa. 'Gimme your hand.' She said as he began to walk away, he turned and looked at her quizzically. 'Quick.' He gave it to her and she pulled her shirt up and put his palm to her belly. 'Feel that?' Derek's face broke into a smile and he crouched down, placing both hands on he felt the ripples of each kick. Penelope watched his face as it watched in awe. 'This is why I wanted my own child.' She told him with a smile, she wanted to share these moments. Derek's hands stilled on the top and bottom of her stomach and he gasped, a small hand made itself visible through her skin.

'Oh wow.' He said and looked at Penelope. 'You okay baby?'

'It just hurts.' She said and as soon as she said it, the hand was gone and with it so was the pain. 'And recovered.' She saw that Derek didn't look quite too convinced. 'Look okay, that was normal pregnancy stuff.'

'Pen...'

'I read it in one of the books JJ lent us, she got it with Henry so calm it Kermit.' She said and he laughed then, he then bent down and kissed her and stood up.

'Need anything? Anything for those cravings?'

She laughed at him as she grabbed the magazine from the coffee table and settled down. 'Maybe some fruit, I'm being normal.'

'You're never normal.' He teased.

'I'll hold that against you handsome.' She yelled out to him. 'Well I read that there's a craving type called pica.'

'Pica? Sounds interesting.'

'Oh believe me; I'm normal after you hear this.' She said as she laid on her back and put her legs up on the arm of the couch. 'Women have actually been known to crave toothpastes and soap.'

'Please tell me you're kidding.'

'Oh if only hormones didn't make women so... strange.' Penelope quipped her disagreement. 'My middle of the night cravings for pickles and ice cream is a perfectly common craving.' She said with a matter of fact tone, and ignored Derek as he came back in with a sarcastic grin on his face. 'You wait, one day you might come in and find me in the bathroom just munching away on a bar of soap... how you gonna feel then Hot Stuff?'

'Anything's possible with you sweetness.' He said and put a drink of water down for her, and a load of fruit. 'I'm now going to hide all soap and toothpastes in the house.' He retorted and Penelope let out a large laugh at him, he always made her happy like that, always made her laugh, always gave her a reason to live beyond the woes of her pregnancy.

'Seems my personal hygiene's going to reduce significantly.'

'No, I'll allow use of them when I can stand guard.' He told her and doorbell went, he just left her laughing to herself as he went to the door. 'Hey.' He said as Claire stood at the door, he had no hard feelings to Claire, they'd both moved on and Penelope had found a really good friend in her.

'Hey, where's my girl?'

'Laid out on the couch.'

'Is she okay?'

'Sickness again, and she's worn out.' Derek said and watched her enter the house. 'She's lost more weight too but she's doing okay.'

'Well I bring ice cream, cookies, chocolate so I'll fatten her up.'

'Invite Lewis round, I'm thinking of ordering in Chinese, I'm really going for the fatty foods right now.'

'Yeah okay.' Claire said and patted his arm, smiled and went into the front room. 'Hey Pen.'

'Hey.' Penelope said and sat up a little. 'I was getting ready but then ended up in the vicious cycle and then that man there made me end up here.'

'Wise man, wise, wise man.' Claire teased her. 'Now lay back down, wise man never keeps facts from me.' She said and slunk into the armchair, watching Penelope pull a face at Derek. 'Nothing's a secret anymore Penelope.'

'Obviously.' Penelope retorted as Derek went up the side of the couch and grabbed her feet, he always knew she was the most ticklish there; lately he just grabbed them for affect. 'He's even going to take up guarding the bathroom now.'

'Oh?'

'Women eat soap whilst pregnant.' Derek told her and Claire laughed. 'No lie, that and toothpaste.'

'That cannot be healthy.'

'Well no, hence why I'm hiding all soap and toothpastes.' Derek said and stalked out the room, making it look like he was taking precedence.

'Anywho, I don't fancy soap, I fancy eating a rain forest.' Penelope said and reached for some fruit. 'See, normal craving, makes up for the weird side.'

'Nothing can top the jam and cheese sandwich.'

'Oh don't that's actually sickening to think about.' Penelope cringed; she chopped and changed with cravings so often it was unreal. 'I suppose joking about this does take his mind off everything.'

'He said you've lost more weight.'

'I don't see how, I mean I eat and eat but it never sticks.'

'Well it's like that baby's a life drainer.'

'Gee thanks.'

'C'mon Pen, you're putting yourself at risk for so many things here.' Claire said and sat forward in the chair. 'It scares everyone shitless that for you to give life you actually have to give life. Your life.' Claire sensed Penelope's distress at this same conversation topic. 'I'm not trying to guilt trip you here Penelope but you've got a lot of people around that love you and you're so desperate for a child you don't realise what it's doing to you in long run.'

'The thing is I do know what it's doing to me.' She confessed honestly. 'I do know that each and every day is getting worse and that I get pains and get tired and I always feel ill but I just wanted this opportunity.'

'And we all respect that choice of yours Penelope. You deserve this, but at the end of the day if the decision is laid in Derek's lap and he has to choose between you and that baby leaving, it's always going to be you above the baby.'

'I know it is.'

'Just don't hate him if that happens. There are other chances at children, having the woman he loves by his side until death is only a once in a lifetime opportunity.' Claire admitted to her. 'So don't hate him if it doesn't turn out how we're all rooting for it to.'

'I have kind of prepared myself for the worse at the end of this.'

'And you do know you've got us all around to help out right?' Penelope smiled at Claire at that point and nodded, she had a family no matter what happened.


	7. Problems Of Forever

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds... boohoo!

* * *

Penelope had watched Derek withdraw more and more as the 8th month of her pregnancy came into view. They'd been lucky with complications, she was healthy as she could be, the only problems she had were the fatigue, stomach cramps and mood swings, she'd classed herself as lucky, Derek still saw it as risky.

'Everything okay?' She asked warily as she learnt against the door frame, in 4 days they 'd be married and they could plan the future of them as a family but for now she wanted to clear the air between them. Derek looked from the back door to her and smiled shortly, nodded and looked back into the garden. 'You sure?' Derek didn't respond, he didn't even look at her. 'You going to look at me?'

'Just go rest; I'll be in, in a minute.'

'Yeah because I'm going to rest.' Penelope snorted, so she moved closer and ran her hand over his back and kept it on his shoulder, he gently shook it off. 'Why are you shutting down on me all a sudden?'

Derek snapped then, turned to see her worry but all he could think of was one think. 'Oh so let's make me the bad guy in all of this shall we?'

'I didn't say that.' Penelope fretted apologetically. 'I... I...'

'You what? What to sort me out? Fix me?' He said and stepped into the kitchen. 'Well you can't Pen! For once in your life you can't sort me out.' He paced then and all Penelope did was watch him. 'So just give up on fixing me and sort yourself out.'

'Excuse me?' She asked him a little hurt. 'Sort myself out?'

'You're the one that's keeping it cool through all of this; it was your choice bigger than it was my choice to have this baby. You were positive you could do this. I, I have to stand on the sidelines and watch you and worry about you and if something goes wrong I can't do a God damn thing about it because it's your choice.' He laughed a bit then and she frowned. 'Heck I'm even confused that you let me tell you that I'm choosing you over this baby. Why not take that choice away from me too.'

'Derek...'

'No, Penelope, I get it that you want this baby, that you are living something you never thought would happen but why do you need to go through so much pain and danger to achieve it?' She remained silent. 'Why does it have to be this way?'

'I don't know why.'

'I cannot lose you from my life, didn't you ever get that?' He asked her as his hands framed her face and the tears fell down his face. 'When you were shot, I was in Church praying for guidance, in the job, in my life, in finding the right way to love you. When we were in New York, I rang you for help, not because you're the computer whiz but because it's your voice that calms me the most. Ever thought why I'm the only one that doesn't tell you to behave seriously? It's all because I love everything about you and the prospect of you giving me a child fills me with nothing but happiness but alongside it comes the idea of losing you.' He wiped the tears with one of the backs of his hands before putting it back. 'So I stuck by your side because it means the world to you. I just don't want it to take you.'

'It?' Penelope said and her eyes built with tears. 'You can never quite go a day with calling it your baby can you, you always refer to it as an it, not my baby, or our baby.' She pulled away. 'Think about it Derek! _It_'s out baby, I don't call it an it because I can't accept this child, but you, it's always seems like it's for another reason that you can't quite make it a day with talking about your family.'

'Stop this Pen!'

'No!' She shouted over him. 'I won't stop it. You've seen their heart beat and you've seen how many fingers their two little hands have and how many toes each of their feet have so accept this choice now, you've got a baby.'

'Just stop this!'

'No, I'm not! I just want you to think about it.' She said and his face dawned a new expression and he gathered her up in his arms and hugged her protectively for a moment. 'Derek...'

'A while back...' He started emotionally. 'I had a dream that something happened to you and it got me thinking about life without you and... No, I can't live that life. It's not made for me.' He then pulled away and looked her dead in the eyes. 'I can't accept that we don't have this doesn't have a happy ending.'

'Then don't.' She told him and pulled him from the kitchen towards the living room, she had a plan, but then a new pain shot through her stomach and she collapsed, only for Derek to catch her and sit her down in his arms on the floor.

'Pen, do what the doctor said.' He told her soothingly as he rocked her body and she cried in his arms. 'It's all going to be okay.' It was moments like this that his whole world went on standby, that Penelope became his entire world and she absorbed every part of him. It was only this type of thing that instilled what he had and what Penelope was doing. It wasn't until she fell against him calm that he just continued to cradle her.

'I'm so sorry.' She told him weakly.

'Don't be.' He told her and kissed her head. 'That's not the only dream I've had.'

'So why is the other one sticking to you more?'

'Because you didn't die in this one, in this one you have the baby and you're holding our child in your arms so protectively and so lovingly that everything's perfect.'

'Everything is going to be perfect.' She almost promised him. 'You're going to get that ending.'

Derek kept that day as significant reminder, the flood of worry, of angst, of sadness, of regret, of yearning, of want, of love and he remembered exactly how his heart ached with Penelope as she showed how courageous she was really being and how on top she was keeping with it all.

He looked up the red carpet and saw Penelope walking towards him, the dress illustrating her baby bump, her smile perfected, and all he saw was his ticket to happiness. He watched her stand next to him and their wedding begin and he couldn't help but smile more and more as the ceremony progressed onwards. It wasn't until they both got to say 'I do' that he knew he was one step closer to getting what he wanted.

'You look so beautiful.'

'I had to put my stud muffin in the running for best looks.'

'Well a baby bump? I don't think I can match that.' He joked as they stuck together at the little gathering.

'Guys!' JJ said excitedly. 'I cannot believe you've done it!'

'Gotten where we've all wanted you to be since well we've known you.' Emily joined in happily. 'I mean, I seriously thought you were together when I first joined the team but I got put in my place and now, you're going to be a family!'

'Aw Mr and Mrs Morgan and Baby Morgan!' JJ squealed with even more excitement. Penelope could hug JJ, through it all she was a little light shining for her, she was, of course, like the others worried and concerned but she decided that Penelope needed support not extra woes.

'I'm guessing a congrats is in order.' Hotch asked as he approached.

'How about, instead of a congrats, you dance with Emily?' Penelope asked him a smile.

'I will if you two head home.'

'I want to see this happen first.' Penelope quipped and she saw Hotch's face. 'Then, I'll let my man whisk me off home.' She said and won the deal, Hotch went and asked Emily to dance and soon Derek was taking Penelope home.

As they walked in Penelope couldn't help but smile. Up their hallway were white rose petals, and around the hallway were fairy lights.

'Derek...'

'Welcome home Mrs Morgan.' He said and kissed her neck. 'How about you go the bedroom and I'll get us some drinks and I'll meet you there in a moment.'

He headed for the kitchen and she walked the rose petal path, she stood looking into the room and smiled more, there were candles everywhere, and more petals and everything was done to a perfect romantic evening.

As she stood looking she felt something on her leg and when she looked down she saw blood sprinkling the petals underfoot.

When Derek came up the hall way all he saw was Penelope was on the floor and blood staining the stunning white dress.


	8. The Weak Man

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds... boohoo!

**A/N**_: One warning: Here comes the drama! =)_

_Inspiration from TV's a wonderful thing!! My muse was dying and I don't know why for a bit! BUT I hope it doesn't detract and you enjoy nonetheless!_

* * *

Penelope woke up slowly to jolting, she soon realised that she was in a car and it was moving fast, she then noticed the crimson staining her and she shot up slowly, feeling weak.

'Derek...' She said tiredly and scared. 'What happened?'

'You collapsed baby girl, but we're nearly at the hospital.'

'Oh God, I'm bleeding.' She panicked as her mind caught up.

'It's okay P, we're nearly there.'

'I'm scared.' She confessed to him and the realisation Penelope had thought she had acknowledged was now hitting her full throttle, she kept looking at her dress, the redness of the blood staining it and the tears began. 'I'm sorry I never listened to you.' She told him quietly.

'Hey come on P, you're gonna be fine.' He said and looked at her only to see that she was unconscious again, he gripped the steering wheel again, and then hit it hard, he didn't know what to do. His fear coming true, he was stuck on the sidelines.

He parked outside the doors of the hospital and ran out, quickly gathering Penelope in his arms he ran in with her.

'Help!' He yelled and saw nurses and doctors were flooding around him. 'Please help her!' He told them panicking as they took her lifeless body and he just about got a kiss on her before she was taken and he wasn't allowed to follow. He just stood in the emergency department on his own, Penelope's blood on him, a fear consuming him fully.

He rang his mom and tried to go to Penelope, but when that failed he then went to the toilet; he watched the red wash into the sink, his newly placed wedding ring on the side pooled in a small puddle of diluted blood. Penelope's blood was everywhere, on him, on the white basin, in the car, at their home, everywhere. When he resurfaced he was met by the back of his mom and Hotch as they spoke hastily to the nurses.

'Mom.' He said petrified and Fran spun round and then enveloped him in a hug. 'She lost so much blood.'

'Shh, she's strong, she'll pull through this.' Fran reassured him as Hotch put his hand on his shoulder. 'She's going to get through all of this and you're going to have a gorgeous baby and a wife to celebrate with.'

'It's just she was fine and then she collapsed and when she came to in the car she was so scared and she's feeling guilty now, she told me she's sorry she never listened to me.' Derek said as he slowly broke down. 'They wouldn't let me follow her, they took her from me.'

'Penelope Morgan?' A male voice asked them. 'Are you here for Penelope Morgan?' Derek wanted to smile, he'd told the nurse at the desk that her name was Morgan not Garcia and now it was being used.

'Yes.' Derek said stepping forward. 'Is she okay?'

'We're going to need to rush her for an emergency c-section, she's bleeding heavily.'

'Has she woken up at all?'

'Not at all, but her breathing's getting difficult and she's going into shock, we're call you in. We can only allow you to view but not be in there with her.'

'Why not? It's my wife and baby.'

'Mrs Morgan isn't stable enough and we need to work fast to ensure we save both the lives of your wife and child.' He saw the look of dread on Derek's face as the words sunk in. 'I'll get a nurse to come and get you in a couple of minutes.' He said and left Derek there with Fran and Hotch.

'I'm going to call the others.' Hotch said and left hastily.

'I helped her make a video for our baby to watch when they're older, just in case she didn't make it. She's gotta make it mom, I can't be showing my child their mom though a telly, they need to live with her.' Derek said as he shook on his spot. 'I've just made her officially mine, she's my wife and the only time I spent with her as that wasn't even for 24 hours.'

Fran watched her son stand there a broken man, a demeanour she never thought she'd have to look at, a view that broke her own heart as it broke at the prospect of losing her daughter and grandchild. All she could do was hold her son until he was taken by the nurse.

When Hotch got back he saw that Fran was alone and he knew now was the official waiting game. 'I didn't tell them what had happened, but they're coming here. Emily's going to go get Des and Sarah.'

'Thanks.'

'No problem, we're a family after all. Penelope means a lot to us all.' Hotch said and even he couldn't hide the fear that was growing in the room.

Derek looked from the window as they worked around Penelope, she looked even more fragile than she had, being swallowed by all the equipment in the room and he wanted nothing more than to take her from it and it all be over, them to be happy and out of harm's way. He watched as they began to save her life and just before they put her under he saw her eyes open and panic set in and he choked on the tears in her throat. He wanted to be there but he knew this was the only way he'd see the birth of his baby and he wanted nothing more than to have someone there to help him through this.

He just stood and watched aimlessly, and then he saw a small bundle pulled out and moved to the right of the room, his heart stopped beating then, that was until a cry rang out and he smiled and cried and laughed all together, he had a baby, he and Penelope had a child. Now it was to get his wife back to him.

'Mr Morgan?' A nurse spoke to him and he looked away from his wife for a moment. 'Would you like to come and see your daughter?'

'Is she okay?'

'She is, the doctors are going to sort your wife out but would rather we took you to your daughter.' She saw him looked torn, between wife and daughter. 'You don't need to watch this.' She said and Derek nodded before following her out. He was led into a new area and placed in front of a sleeping bundle.

'She's perfectly healthy.' A new nurse said. 'Her lungs are sufficiently developed, she's got full mobility, there's no problems with her at all.'

'Perfect.' Derek muttered as the baby was placed in his arms, his daughter just continued to sleep in his arms and he openly cried. 'Can you take her please?' He asked as he began to panic again. Then nurse took the baby and watched Derek flee the room. He went and found his mom, with her was everyone. He saw them look at her and his legs weakened and buckled beneath him, he couldn't be strong anymore.

'Derek!' Fran said and ran to him. 'Is it Penelope? Or the baby? Is everything okay?'

'She gave me a daughter mom, a perfectly healthy little girl but I don't know about Pen, they made me leave.' He then just sat in his mom's arms and cried. He'd kept it as together as he could but now Penelope's life was hanging on a dainty thread and he didn't know if he was going to bring up their little girl together or as a single parent. He just silently prayed it wasn't going to be the latter.

'Derek.' Was all Derek heard and he opened his eyes, not long after being pulled from the floor he fell asleep, all evident exhaustion claiming him fully now. He sat up and stretched slightly. 'Derek, the doctor needs to talk to you.'

Terror rose and he looked up at the doctor, he wordlessly stood up and followed him, they didn't enter a room before he spoke, they just walked. 'She pulled through.' He started and Derek's heart skipped a beat as a smile graced his lips. 'However, the blood loss was too significant and your wife's in a coma. Now there's nothing to suggest this will be permanent but we won't know how long for, and until her STATs increase and stabilise, she's still classed as critical.'

'What do you mean; you don't know how long for? Does that mean she might not wake up?'

'We can only give it as a precaution, your wife sustained a lot of trauma to her body, its up to her now to heal. She's a fighter, we nearly lost her a couple of times in there but she fought back and pulled through.' He continued and led Derek into a room, Penelope lay on the bed looking just like she was sleeping. 'None of the major complications that we would've thought would occur have, her lungs are clear; her blood pressure is high but not as high as it has been. The coma could be just her way of getting the rest she's been needing for the last couple of months. I have strong hope that she'll wake up before the weeks up.' The doctor stood to the side as Derek approached the bed. 'I'll leave for a bit.'

Derek then found himself alone with Penelope; her heart beat clearly showed up on the monitor, his heart beat was racking his chest angrily. 'You got to pull through this P, I need my baby girl's together.'

The next day found him settled by the bed side, he'd come in early, seen his daughter and then took to Penelope's room. 'Remember when we first met, and we went out for lunch?' He asked her, praying for an answer. 'Our first lunch out, we spoke a lot then, and we found out we loved the same burger and the drink, ice cream soda. Well I'm going to keep bringing our favourite foods until you wake up.' He said as he looked at the food already gathering, one being drinks they had shared, the photo's that were placed of their little girl. 'I want more memories like that day. More memories like when you finally told me you loved me and when you let me in entirely. I want more Pen.'

He sat forward and took her hand in his, kissing it. 'You've got so much to live for, so many people, and one in particular, our little girl. I can't do it alone, I can't make her love ice cream floats like we do on my own, or appreciate the first drop of warmth in spring, or love how the waves crash around when we're at the beach. So I'll keep bringing you all these, make you love them again, they'll be here when you wake up.

Like someone else will when you wake up.' He exhaled with a smile. 'It's our beautiful little daughter, she's...' He shook his head. 'She's perfect.' He laughed slightly. 'You should see her, she's amazing, she's got those ten little fingers and those ten little toes that we saw but she needs you, so do I.' Derek whispered. 'Come on you promised. You promised me I'd get the ending I wanted. That I wouldn't lose out on you.

We got a little girl and I'm gonna do all I can for her, just like I do for you P, but she needs her mom, Pen, I need her mom, she doesn't even have a name. We were supposed to do that together, I don't want to name her without you there, we might have talked it through but I want you to speak her proper name first.' He said as he broke again. 'I can't do this without you. I can't survive without you.' He said kissing her hands. 'And I'm just afraid I'm going to lose you and it's just going to be just us two. And she doesn't even have a name. I'm scared I won't be able to name her. She needs her mom Pen, she needs your love as well as mine and she needs a name.' He then out his head to her hand.

'Ellie.' Derek's head shot up. 'Her names Eloise okay? Like we decided.' He knew that name, they'd both liked it for a little girl, both agreed.

He looked at Penelope, as her eyes opened slowly. 'Yeah.' He laughed in disbelief. 'Ellie Morgan, God you scared me so much Baby Girl.' He said his little girls name and let the truth out and then kissed her forehead, he felt her hand grab his arm. 'Oh my God.' He whispered. 'I love you so much.' He said and kissed her again, keeping the closeness between them.

The door opened and JJ came in with Emily and Desiree. 'Pen...' She stated as they saw the two's embrace, they all felt the tears welling up.

'I had people to come back and see.' Penelope said tiredly as Derek didn't let go and she didn't release her weak hold on him, he laughed and JJ let out a tearful laugh with him.

'Yeah. I'm going to get you someone who needs to see you the most.'

Penelope's eyes widened then. 'Is she okay?'

'She's perfect.' JJ restated Derek's words. 'I'll go get her.' Then she and the others were gone and Penelope looked at Derek hoping they weren't lying to him.

'I'm gonna get the doctor, tell him you're awake.'

'No, I just want it to be me, you and our baby and the rest of our family, I need them all here.' She told him happily as Fran entered with the small bundle in her arms.

'My babies have had a baby.' She said as she gently placed the little girl into Penelope's arms, Penelope natural held her and kissed her.

'Oh God you're absolutely perfect.' She whispered as the tears began. 'Ellie Morgan.' She called her and she'd never felt happier than when she had that little girl in her arms and Derek by her side. She had the family she wanted on top of the family she already had. 'I'm going to love you forever.' She said and then looked at Derek, who smiled brighter than he had in a while and then he kissed her.

Like Penelope, Derek got the ending he was after.


	9. Happy For Life Epilogue

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds... boohoo!

**A/N**_: Last one, thanks for all the great reviews!! =)_

* * *

Penelope slipped off the bed 3 days later, finally allowed to go home. She'd found herself hugging her daughter each day and loving both her little girl and her husband more and more. She felt Derek's strong arm around her and smiled, he was always there for her, always ready.

All the angst that had built between them as the delivery loomed was gone, their 6 degrees of separation that they went through was gone. There was nothing but love there, love and happiness. She looked at Fran as she carried Ellie in her arms; their daughter dressed in a little flowery dress, sleeping soundly and couldn't help but smile at her.

Derek looked at Penelope as he held her and kissed her head, he had a daughter all thanks to his wife and best friend. The one woman that had kept striving on, didn't deter from her mission, kept her promise and succeeded. Penelope was to him, a courageous, all giving, amazing woman to him now, near enough superhuman in his eyes. She'd dabbled closely with fate, she'd put her life on the line, her love and yearn for a child making her want to risk her life and it was all worth it.

It didn't matter that he nearly lost her because it was only nearly, it wasn't an eternal lose, he had Penelope and would have the following day, and the day after that and for years to come. Penelope would be his family, even if it remained, him, Penelope and Ellie, he wouldn't care, he had a family. It was quality over quantity and Penelope was the best.

'You ready to go?' He asked Penelope and she looked up at him, a smile on her lips from watching her daughter.

'Let's go handsome.'

'Come on then Baby Girl. Let's get my favourite girl's home.'

'I'll pretend I didn't hear that.' Fran said as she rubbed Ellie's back as she began to walk.

'Well you're coming back, therefore, I'm getting my favourite girl's home.' Derek recovered quickly and Fran laughed, when they made it to the SUV, Derek got Penelope settled before making sure Ellie was in securely and then heading to their home. He was beyond excited to walk through that door a married man, well a married father and not have a shadow of dread hanging over him. 'I want you upstairs and resting Baby Girl.' He told Penelope who did nothing but listen as he took Ellie from his mom.

When he made it upstairs he found Penelope in the nursery and smiled brightly at her. 'I thought I said resting.'

'I'm sitting in this big ole arm chair, cushioned galore and I want hugs.' She told him, and Derek knew he couldn't argue with her for that, so he just placed the little girl in Penelope's arms and watched her relax back naturally and talk to their daughter.

'I could hold her forever and not get bored.' Penelope said quietly and he knew she was getting tearful, so he crouched down on the floor in front of the pair. 'She's so perfect and she's such a miracle.'

Derek put his hands on Penelope's knee's. They never spoke about the fact she could never have children because she was there and she was pregnant so there wasn't a point. 'I remember when they told me I could never have them and I was fine with it. I mean I was 15, what did I need a baby for? Then as the years got on and I saw babies around I thought more and more about it and the more it hurt and then I came here and got settled. I found a home and JJ had Henry and the want just grew. I got jealous, really jealous.' She told him, all the while she watched and was a attentive with Ellie. 'I was jealous of Hotch for having Jack, and of woman having children and when we had cases where mothers abused their children I had to step back or my emotions would fuel me and I couldn't do that.

Then you come along, offering me happiness and I couldn't hold onto you because I was broken. I already thought I was all wrong for you and there was the added worry that I could never give you... this.' She told him and looked up, straight into his eyes. 'Then I could give you this and I didn't care if I was being reckless or if I was giving my life to give you a child. I just wanted you to have a little you. A child with your last name, a child I could share with you because I loved you so much and I could never think of a better way to show how much you love someone than with a baby.'

Derek got closer, a smile on his lips. 'Well baby girl, you showed me how much you loved me the moment you pushed me away. You wanted me to have a family, something you never thought you'd have and when the doctor said you were 4 months pregnant I had to make it right. Prove to you that I was all in and yes, I'll admit it, I was a tortured soul seeing you suffer and that night when you collapsed I've never felt so helpless and you were scared, I was scared and I couldn't make it right. I wanted to but I could do what I was capable of. Even if at the end of the day it meant sitting by you bedside for weeks on end until you woke up, I would've done it.'

Penelope placed her free hand on his face. 'I was taught never to say never, but I almost did with this idea of happiness.'

'Well Baby Girl, you just should learn to never say never.' He said and kissed her passionately, when he pulled away he kissed his little girl's head and settled back to watch the view.

One that he'd remember for a lifetime.

One that would grace his dreams when work got too much. A view that would keep him sane because now he had more reasons to live for and a wife that showed to him that anything's possible. She'd beaten more than a couple of facts having their daughter and he'd always use it as a guide in life.

He should've never have said never that night, he should've taken Penelope in his arms, made her realise he didn't care if they had a family or not. He'd love her whatever because at the end of it all, Penelope was his other half, his soul mate and now she was the mother of the most perfect baby ever, a baby that was half her and half him, and he'd love his life was eternity.

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_**THE END!**_

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_**A/N:**_ There you go guys! A HAPPILY EVER AFTER!! Hope you enjoyed!! =)


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